Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
