White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize