all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we're making bets on your personal life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
