and she was petting her beer can
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
