True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
