U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
