He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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