You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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