its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
