Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
