What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I deserve this hangover.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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