You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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