How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
