lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
