'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
