wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
