Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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