I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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