Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
