Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
