so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
