I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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