He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
