Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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