You really coming over, don't trick.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The power of my boobs compel you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
