I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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