Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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