As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
