You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
