Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize