i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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