found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
