They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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