I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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