I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize