i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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