Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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