sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
