Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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