You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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