Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
