You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
