You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
