these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
