it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
