JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
