so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
