Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
