Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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