When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
