how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
