You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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