Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found the puke drawer
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
