Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize