Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
