I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
