i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Screwed.edu
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
