I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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