this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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