you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
