so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you never un-have a 4some
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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