i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize